Why entering the madness?

I am questionning everything at ths time of year.  On a lot of things.  One of them is almost a first world creative questionning: Why do I feel the urge to do Nanowrimo? (www.nanowrimo.org)  Why do I imposse writing 50 000 words during 30 days on myself?  In the beginning, I wanted to get out some ideas I had for years and translate them into paper and out of my head.  Nanowrimo was, then, a quick way to write the stories.

Now, what motivate me to write?  I feel it had change.  I no longer old stories ideas that I wanted to write.  Now, this year, I have been head on for a carefree story.  Nothing planned except for the caracters.  As I started, I had an idea on how to start.  The other thing I wanted to do, this year: to break the stereotype of a genre.  Going my way and having fun with a genre that I hate.

Thinking of it, I may have become addicted in winning Nanowrimo.  There is nothing to gain except crossing the line of 50 000 words.  Maybe the untangible goal is what makes me do this madness almost every years.  When I didn't participated, I had good reasons.  Maybe I should have more good reasons not to do it.  I may be a competitor when it comes to writing and Nanowrimo.  Maybe I shoule try camp nanowrimo instead (in April or June next year)  Maybe it would change the scratching from one place to another.